After The Burning Crusade was released and we’d had a chance to sit down evaluate, it was obvious that the Horde had only just scraped it and the balance of Blizzard’s love was…er…well balanced. Anyone who has a Blood Elf Female (pervert!) and a Draenai Female (“Geez can you get those things outta my face?”) will tell you that in terms of attractiveness that’s definitely a score draw. Draenai male or Blood Elf male (LMFAO)…er, can I have another option? Silvermoon beats The Exodar, but given they’re two parts of the world where no one goes now it’s a moot point. Eversong Woods and the Bloodmyst and Azuremyst Isle are equally beautiful and well designed quest hubs for the time.

By Cataclysm you could hear the horde laughing itself unconscious. We had Goblins, Kazan (breaking into our own bank!) and the gorgeous Lost Isles (Town In A Box!) While the Goblins as a race were acerbic, inventive and funny their leveling experience was well designed and fast paced. They even got a vehicle to roar around in, knocking over innocent (and not so innocent) pedestrians. Even I felt sorry for the Alliance. Let me ask the question: are Worgens actually worse than Trolls? Sniff, snuffle. Do they run funnier? Sniff. Is the sniffing the most annoying thing ever? No Gilneas is the most annoying thing ever. Apparently you can glitch out of Gilneas by doing some weird getting stuck in a wall, logging off and on, jumping, moving out of the wall shenanigans. How was this discovered? Hundreds and thousands of man hours as thousands of people wept, cursed and quickly lost patience with interminably long and boring leveling, quest chain to escape from the dullest zone in existence. I actually envied Genn Greymane‘s son, Sylvannas came in and rescued him about half way through. She does kill him, but it was mercy surely?

In Warlords of Draenor Garrison’s have seen the pendulum swing the other way. It’s in inescapable fact that the Alliance Garrison is objectively better than the Horde‘s. Everything in the Alliance Garrison is just that little bit more convenient. Take the Town Hall layout, in the Stormwind-alike version Command Table, vendor and Architect table are all very close together. The Orgrimmar-alike version is more spread, indeed the Architect table is in an alcove! However, the real clincher is below:Horde“I’m in the Salvage Yard?! WTF are you talking about?” You maybe inside the Horde Salvage Yard but not far enough in to open up Salvage. Really.


C’mon! She’s clearly on the steps into the Salvage Yard…not in the Salvage Yard.

Could it be because her breasts are so far inside? I wonder if Humans or Night Elves can craft from here…?

Legion is due out on or before September 21st, until then you’ll have to put up with post like this.